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50

That is why we are not discouraged.  Though outwardly we are wearing out, inwardly we are renewed day by day.  Our suffering is light and temporary and is producing for us an internal glory that is greater than anything we can imagine.  (2 Corinthians 4:16-17)

As month by month cranked along this year, I had one best friend after another turn 50.  Last month, Father Time finally found its way to me.  It was a bit surreal as in my heart I’ll always be 25, thinking of myself as the guy swinging a baseball bat and manning center on the softball field.

In my 20s, I thought for sure I’d play softball for the rest of my life.  But about 17 years ago, in the first practice of the season I tore my hamstring.  Hamstring injuries were always bad news for me as they took an inordinate amount of time to heal.  But this one was the worst - April, May, and June flew by with me sitting on the sidelines.  In the beginning of July, the coach called to check on me and asked if I’d be able to play in the season ending tournament.  I gave my leg a test run, it felt good, and I said: “I’ll be there!”  

Sadly, a week later, one day before the tournament, I was de-boarding a plane from a work trip.  With my suitcase one row behind me on the opposite side, I reached awkwardly to grab it, and I felt my hamstring pop.  And just like that, in my heart I knew I was done – not just the 2004 season-ending softball tournament but my days of playing sports competitively were over.  I survived a broken ankle, knee sprains, countless elbows to the nose, chipped front teeth from another elbow, you name it…but this horrific hamstring injury finally did me in.  Weighing all the cost and toll on my body – playing sports competitively just wasn’t worth it to me anymore.

In the years that followed, thankfully I was able to keep my competitive spirits alive with fantasy sports.  Outside of some heartbreaking losses, not one injury came my way.  It’s filled the void quite nicely, but on my 50th birthday, I admittedly thought about that guy who thought he’d be playing softball the rest of his life and wished I could step back onto that field just one more time.  

Thankfully those thoughts were brief as I spent most of the day fielding phone calls, texts, emails, and posts of birthday wishes from beloved friends and family.  I wisely took the day off to be able to take the time to savor each one…for I know those things are precious.  How I would have loved to cap my 50th with one more dinner with my Dad or hear one more “Sto lat!” from my grandmother.

But even though those things weren’t meant to be, I ended that day being grateful to the Lord for all the many blessings He has graciously bestowed upon me in my 50 years.  I continue to covet those blessings in whatever time He has left for me here and look forward to the other side - when I get to see Him in person, hopefully share that dinner with my Dad and hear that “Sto lat!” from my grandmother…and maybe just maybe there’ll be a softball field waiting for me to enjoy (sans injury) for the rest of eternity, just as I thought I would.

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