For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)
On June 20, my mother-in-law, Nancy, passed away at the age of 76. She left this earth as one of the greatest cooks and seamstresses this world has ever known. Although her food was legendary, I’ll remember her most for the following three stories.
The first was from October 2005. At the start of that year, Dee and I both felt a strong desire to reunite our parents for what we felt would be the last time. We prayed and prayed, and ultimately put together an east coast trip for October. At the tail end of that trip, the six of us were able to spend a couple days together at Hershey Hotel in Pennsylvania and then spent a day in New York City with a Broadway show and visiting some of the main tourist sites. We made sure we returned to my parents’ home early enough so Nancy could make her incomparable Chinese feast. We were also sure to invite my grandmother Dorothy (better known as Babcia), who was in the middle of a battle with cancer.
Throughout the meal, I likely was the only one in the house who was bracing for the epic battle that I knew would ensue with the post-meal dishes. To this day, I still have never used a dishwasher and that is due to the example set by my grandmother who meal after meal, not only whipped up a heavenly Polish feast, but had to be the one to do all the dishes. I watched with awe as she washed every dish with the hottest water ever – so hot it would permanently sear every other hand that dared touch it.
Back to that October meal, if I was a betting man on who would earn the rights to clean all the dishes, I would have placed half down on Babcia and the other half on Nancy – you see, Nancy had the same stubborn bones in her body to do all the cooking and cleaning. Imagine my surprise when after several minutes of an intense stand-off, Nancy finally succumbed with a loving yet begrudging placement of a dish towel over my grandmother’s head. On June 20th, I imagined Babcia returning the favor by greeting Nancy in heaven by placing a dish towel lovingly over hers.
The next story was from this past June 1st – the first day of Nancy’s stay in the ICU. On the drive from our home to Nancy’s hospital room, I was praying fervently and trying to strengthen myself for my wife (perhaps the most loving and devoted daughter this world has ever known). I braced myself for a pale and frail mother-in-law lying flat on a hospital bed, but I should have known better – when we walked into the room, we indeed saw a pale and frail woman, but she was seated in a chair, with her sewing machine working on two bridesmaids’ dresses for a wedding she had committed to. For the next few hours, her loving husband Pete, son Mark, Dee, and I had the honors of helping her through every seam in each of those two dresses. By the time visiting hours were over, she had finished the job almost perfectly. It was in a word – incredible!
The last story I’d like to share was from a Halloween a few decades ago. As a Christian, Nancy tried to inspire others to love and serve others like her Lord and Savior Jesus, who over 2000 years ago humbled Himself to become a man. He came to this world not to be served but to serve…with the ultimate mission to die on a cross and be the one bridge between His perfect father in heaven and the sinful people He loved on earth.
After we met, Dee shared the story of how there were two young kids in the family who had a severe food allergy and were unable to eat chocolate like all the other kids. Nancy felt terrible and one Halloween, concocted a plan to go to the store and buy food the two kids could eat. She then went to every home in the neighborhood, and said: “In about one hour, I’ll be back with two kids – please don’t give them any chocolate but give them this food instead – it is the only thing they’ll be able to eat.” For the next couple hours, Nancy and the kids went around to all those homes – by the end of the day they had two bags that were not only full like all the other kids, but they were filled with food even they could eat.
That story pierced my soul then and still pierces my soul to this day. Although we didn’t compete in our faith, we sure competed in just about everything else…like who would be the first to solve the next Wheel of Fortune puzzle or be the one to tap in the next jigsaw puzzle piece (whoever did so, would be sure to do it loudly to ensure the other one heard it). At the end, I firmly believe I was the superior puzzler, but in my heart of hearts I know Nancy had me beat where it mattered most – and that was a gift to serve and love others in the way that she did.